Festivus pasta! (Bacon, sprouts, Fir tree, sage - a cracker)

Fashionably smoked lardons with a Christmas tree flavour:

Beloved sprouts and the white parts of one leek:

Shred on a mandolin.  Whoever's nicked my finger-guard, the joke's over...

Fry the lardons for about 8 minutes on a gentle heat to render some of the fat.  Then remove the lardons and fry the sprouts and leeks in the aforementioned fat.  After about 5 minutes, add a thinly sliced clove of garlic, then a couple of minutes later add a small slosh of white wine.

Far too good a wine for cooking but it's all I had open.

I thought a thin spaghetti-style pasta would mirror the shredded veg nicely, so I chose these bad boys, not least because I love the packaging.  Well I do love the packaging from the front:

However! the view from the side put a downer on my vermicelli experience:

Since when is 2 ounces of pasta an acceptable portion size?  Perhaps when it's genuinely a first course, Italian style.  However I think the average sensible weight for a main pasta is 100g uncooked.  Nowadays I see a lot of recipes trying to nudge you down to 75g.  If I had my way, I'd go 150g every time.  So according to this packaging I'm eating for 3.  Like I didn't already feel guilty after my Christmas Day and Boxing Day gorges?

Anyway, cook the pasta.  Add a squeeze of lemon juice to the sprout / bacon mix, then combine, with a touch of fresh sage, parsley, and parmesan.

Totally delicious, sweet, tender, melting, great texture combo... 

A perfectly simple, sexy, seasonal, secular supper.  (Try saying that after a bottle of Gavi di Gavi di Gavi...)