Conchiglie truly would make a good friend. Look at him! Those private little sanctums where you can hide all your embarrassing secrets.
Like the fact that if you had your way, every single meal you ate would involve a combo of bacon, cream, fried onions and cheese.
Or the fact that you cannot keep a sage plant alive for more than one moment:
The fact that you only put radicchio in your pasta because you felt guilty about going three whole days without eating any of your five a day.
The fact that you would rather take a mushroom's photo and post it on the internet, than spend those same two minutes tidying up your increasingly chaotic living area.
No. Not conchiglie. Conchiglie would wrap up all your secrets safe and warm
and wouldn't unfurl them for anyone, least of all the internet.
And if your pasta was particularly delicious and creamy, with salty bacon and caramelised shallots and parmesan on top, then conchiglie might even share your joy by giving you a smile...